Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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