Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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