Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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