Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
