Yo dont text me then not text me
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
