I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
