So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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