Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Randomize
