Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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