You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize