you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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