i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
