she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize