All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
His hands were made for my vagina.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
