Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
