There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
our cab driver is having phone sex.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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