bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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