I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize