that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
