I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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