Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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