sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
he shaved USA in his pubs
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize