Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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