I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
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