YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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