piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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