The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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