Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Rumble strips road head = magical
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Randomize
