I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize