ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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