She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
