her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
