So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
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