Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize