Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
