I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
