what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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