I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
