I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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