They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
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Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
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Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.