Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
I'm going back tonight
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.