Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
Cake is only good when you eat it
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
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when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
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I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes