Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.

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  (303): I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move. http://tfl.nu/t85w
  Replies (17) Good night (2667) Bad night (573)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training

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  (224): woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training http://tfl.nu/euvl
  Replies (10) Good night (4400) Bad night (774)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.

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  (715): He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now. http://tfl.nu/ppv0
  Replies (7) Good night (3062) Bad night (878)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence

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  (770): Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence http://tfl.nu/sug8
  Replies (15) Good night (2844) Bad night (872)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.

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  (614): she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again. http://tfl.nu/e05t
  Replies (2) Good night (2068) Bad night (1102)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....

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  (817): I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy.... http://tfl.nu/l8ba
  Replies (8) Good night (1781) Bad night (611)
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  (619): View more from California

  I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw

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  (619): I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw http://tfl.nu/yk6h
  Replies (11) Good night (861) Bad night (1831)
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  (823): View more from

  Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?

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  (823): Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning? http://tfl.nu/98fh
  Replies (5) Good night (1020) Bad night (591)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.

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  (812): Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs. http://tfl.nu/yev1
  Replies (9) Good night (2975) Bad night (917)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."

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  (814): I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day." http://tfl.nu/1vs8
  Replies (5) Good night (1056) Bad night (1558)
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  (555): View more from

  Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone

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  (555): Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone http://tfl.nu/9aqw
  Replies (5) Good night (787) Bad night (341)
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  (530): View more from California

  Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it

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  (530): Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it http://tfl.nu/avbb
  Replies (5) Good night (1596) Bad night (494)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces

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  (603): You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces http://tfl.nu/ks18
  Replies (6) Good night (970) Bad night (362)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.

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  (423): True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do. http://tfl.nu/f7pn
  Replies (2) Good night (632) Bad night (222)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.

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  (270): I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation. http://tfl.nu/mu7l
  Replies (3) Good night (198) Bad night (409)

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