dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.