Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.

(918): View more from Oklahoma

And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.

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(630): View more from Illinois

I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...

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(713): View more from Texas

then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate

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(815): View more from Illinois

have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?

(1-815): View more from Illinois

why can't you just be normal

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19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
Read it at the TFLN blog
(925): View more from California

Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?

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(615): View more from Tennessee

How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?

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(206): View more from Washington

dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.

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(469): View more from Texas

Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...

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(630): View more from Illinois

Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.

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