If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize