Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.

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  (909): dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight. http://tfl.nu/pv9g
  Replies (42) Good night (3564) Bad night (531)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!

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  (914): Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?! http://tfl.nu/ay46
  Replies (20) Good night (2336) Bad night (871)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building

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  (262): remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building http://tfl.nu/3ctj
  Replies (2) Good night (3638) Bad night (668)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for

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  (304): She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for http://tfl.nu/s392
  Replies (19) Good night (3709) Bad night (1209)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.

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  (661): the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep. http://tfl.nu/zfm0
  Replies (74) Good night (40869) Bad night (1248)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.

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  (301): Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover. http://tfl.nu/klzl
  Replies (21) Good night (6283) Bad night (1266)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.

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  (248): She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds. http://tfl.nu/bean
  Replies (9) Good night (4603) Bad night (1525)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.

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  (313): I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many. http://tfl.nu/e16i
  Replies (6) Good night (2268) Bad night (1301)
• Favorite

  (979): View more from Texas

  I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.

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  (979): I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system. http://tfl.nu/cus3
  Replies (14) Good night (2013) Bad night (1139)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.

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  (715): I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help. http://tfl.nu/ztsu
  Replies (3) Good night (1336) Bad night (663)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  This baby is an asshole

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  (517): This baby is an asshole http://tfl.nu/mlzh
  Replies (11) Good night (1904) Bad night (799)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?

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  (814): Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids? http://tfl.nu/tder
  Replies (3) Good night (618) Bad night (320)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time

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  (517): Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time http://tfl.nu/cfap
  Replies (2) Good night (767) Bad night (409)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.

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  (416): Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life. http://tfl.nu/edw4
  Replies (10) Good night (438) Bad night (500)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.

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  (314): I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best. http://tfl.nu/05vy
  Replies (1) Good night (437) Bad night (290)

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