'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
