i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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