never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
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