About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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