Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
