; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I have tasted many bathrooms
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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