I want to make a zoo with you.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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