Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
