Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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