I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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