remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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