hell yes lets make some ravioli
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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