Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Randomize
