Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize